For as long as I can remember, I was the girl who outworked everyone in the room. The first to arrive, the last to leave. The one who would jump higher, push harder, say yes to more, just to prove—to who exactly?—that I was worthy.

And for a long time, I was praised for it.

The gold stars. The straight A’s. The business success. The seven-figure dreams. The hard work was my badge of honor. Until it wasn’t.

Until I found myself sitting in my closet during the pandemic, asking a question I had never dared to ask before:

Who am I without the accomplishments? Without the shiny things? Without the constant proving?

And the terrifying answer?

I didn’t know.

I had spent my entire life chasing gold stars instead of my own fulfillment.

The Validation Trap: Why We Become Addicted to Achievement

I know I’m not the only one who has felt this.

For so many of us, this addiction to external validation starts early:

✔ Gold stars for being a “good kid.”
✔ Straight A’s as proof that we’re smart.
✔ Promotions as proof that we’re worthy.
✔ Business success as proof that we “made it.”

It’s a system we learn to play so well that we stop asking ourselves if we even want the things we’re chasing.

Do we want the next milestone—or do we just want the praise that comes with it?
Do we actually want to keep going—or are we just afraid to stop?

For me, it was always the next goal, the next big move, the next level of success—because slowing down felt like losing.

Until everything stopped.

The Wake-Up Call: Who Are You Without the Gold Stars?

When the world shut down in 2020, my business came to a screeching halt.

I had built an international floral empire, working with brands like Tiffany & Co., Chanel, JW Marriott, and Four Seasons, and overnight, the momentum vanished.

I wasn’t busy.
I wasn’t achieving.
I wasn’t winning anything.

And for the first time, I had to sit with just me.

And I hated it.

I worried if people would still want to be my friend if I wasn’t shiny enough. I feared I would fade into irrelevance without my business success to prove my worth.

“I found myself in my closet for two weeks, questioning who I was. Would my friends still want to be around me if I wasn’t ‘shiny enough’? If I wasn’t achieving something?”

That moment cracked me open.

I had spent years proving myself to the world, but I had never proven to myself that I was enough without all of it.

I had tied my self-worth to my ability to perform.

Unlearning the Addiction to Achievement

The truth is, we’re all taught to measure our value by what we produce.

We are trained to be overachievers, to work for approval, to seek validation from others rather than trusting our own inner knowing.

But when you live that way for too long, you become disconnected from yourself.

💠 You reach a goal, but instead of feeling fulfilled, you immediately set another one.
💠 You crave praise, but when you receive it, it never feels like enough.
💠 You’re always busy, yet something still feels missing.

Sound familiar?

At some point, we have to wake up and realize that external approval will never give us the internal security we crave.

The gold stars will never be enough if we don’t believe we are enough without them.

Redefining Success: What If You Didn’t Have to Prove Anything?

So here’s what I had to unlearn:

✅ My worth is not tied to my work. Whether I achieve something today or do nothing at all, I am still whole.
✅ Success is not a checklist. It’s about how I feel in my own life, not how impressive my resume looks.
✅ I am not here to prove. I am here to be. And that is enough.

And once I let go of the need to prove, something incredible happened…

I stopped striving for what I thought I should want and started creating a life that actually felt good.

Are You Ready to Break Free?

I know what it feels like to live for external validation. I know what it feels like to chase success because you think it will make you feel worthy.

And I also know the freedom that comes from breaking free.

If you are tired of the proving, the striving, the never-enough cycle—I want you to know that there is another way.

💎 Listen to my full conversation on The Scrumptious Woman Podcast here.

💎 If you’re ready to heal, redefine success, and step into your power, join me inside Making of the Millionairess. This is where we do the deep work to unlearn the patterns keeping you stuck. Join here.

💎 Read my bestselling memoir to dive deeper into my journey of resilience and transformation. Get it here.

Your success is inevitable—when it’s built from a place of true alignment, not proving.

Let’s create that kind of success. The kind that feels effortless, free, and fully yours.